Bully - Phan - Part 18

I stood in the doorway, unable to move. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to do anything, just be with Dan. I wanted to get away, get away from the pain, the misery, the torture of real life and escape into a fantasy world. With Dan. Anything and everything was good when Dan's around. 

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" I heard Dan's dad yell, but it wasn't as loud as I thought it would be. It was like I was underwater, drowning in my own thoughts of a dream world, a dream life. I blinked slowly and saw that Dan's dad was talking to Phil, who seemed to be memorised by Ellie, lying on the bed. I didn't want to look at her because I knew if I would I would never be able to get the image out of my memory. 

"LOOK AT ME, MOTHERFUCKER, AND ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!" He bellowed. I saw Dan make a run at him and the empty bottle that his dad was holding shattered around his head, leaving an open wound. He fell, head making a sickening crack on the wooden floorboards. Phil's head snapped round, eyes full of fear. As he saw Dan on the ground, hands brought to his head, I could see the absolute rage in his body. He was almost shaking with venom. 

"That got your attention, didn't it?" Dan's dad cackled, showing his distinct lack of teeth. He turned and grabbed Dan off the floor, his body limp. "What if I did this?" He held a gun to my beloved's head. 

No. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. I have to do something. I've been stood here this whole time, doing fuck all to help the situation, well now? I'm going to save Dan. 

"Don't." I took a step forward.

"You." Another step.

"Dare." The final step. 

Dan's dad was a lot taller than me, a lot taller than me but right now that didn't matter. What did matter was getting Dan back. 

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" He sniggered in my face. His breath reeked of alcohol, it's obvious he hasn't been doing too well since Dan left. 

"This." I quickly raised my fist, enjoying the crunching noise it made as it came into contact with his nose. He stumbled backwards, letting go of Dan. I hauled him to his feet and gently threw him to Phil, who wrapped his arms around him, cradling him softly. They're meant for each other, it's clear. Dan doesn't like me in the same way I like him, he never has a never will. I don't even know why I tried to break them up, they're so happy together. I want them to be happy together. 

"YOU'RE DEAD." Dan's dad bellowed, raising the gun and firing. The blinding white pain was unimaginable as the bullet ripped through my chest, tearing me apart. 

"NO!" I heard Dan's voice cry out, he stumbled towards me as my body crumpled to the floor.

I pushed Phil away, dropping to my knees beside Peej. His eyes were flickered, eyelids slowly starting to droop. I scooped him up in my arms, blood seeping through on to my jeans. 

"No no no no no, Peej, you can't die!" I panicked, tears streaming down my face. He can't leave me. He can't go. I grabbed hold of his hand and he held tightly. I pushed the hair out of his eyes with my other hand, stroking his cheek gently. A slight smile appeared on his face, a single tear escaped his eye; I wiped it away with my thumb. 

"Dan, thank you." He choked out, barely able to speak. What could he possibly be thanking me for? It's my fault he's dying. He's only 15, for god's sake, he had his whole life ahead of him.

"What for?" I couldn't see for my tears. He's on his death bed and he's thanking me. 

"For helping me to live. Helping me to realize. This obviously isn't my story, live your life. Spend it with Phil, you're meant for each other. But Dan, I'll always love you. Please don't forget that." His eyelids calmly came to a close, his breathing slowed. 

"No, Peej. Please, stay alive. I'll stay with you, we can be together. Stay strong, we have our lives to live. It'll be okay, I promise. You'll be fine, just keep breathing, just keep living. Just... just..." I faltered off, realising I'd lost him. His chest had stopped moving, his heart had stopped beating, he had stopped living. His body grew limp in my arms, his head lolled to the side. My shoulders dropped, my breathing heavy and dry. The tears wouldn't stop, they splashed down on to Peej's pale face, reminding me of what little emotions I had left. I couldn't feel, I didn't want to feel. Not if I ended up like this again. Nothing could compare to the hurt I feel right now. 

The boy once stood so strong; this amazing, if slightly crazy boy, had just died in my arms. The little girl lying on the bed, so innocent, young had died when I wasn't even there. 

No more. 

No more would die because of me. 

Dan sat there, cradling Peej's broken body, sobbing. My heart beat painfully for him. PJ didn't deserve this; No-one deserves this. Dan buried his head in the bleeding boy's chest, blood staining his chestnut hair. I didn't even care that Dan had told Peej how they could live together, spend the rest of their lives together, whatever made Dan happy would make me happy. I slowly made my way over to Dan and kneeled down next beside him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. 

Everything seemed to stop. Everything slowed down. No-one moved, no-one made a sound, no-one did anything for the next few minutes, it was almost peaceful, if you class a silent room with a murderer, 2 dead people, 3 hostages and a randomer as peaceful. All you could hear was Dan's sobbing and his dad's heavy breathing. No-one knew what was going to happen next. 

All I knew was that I had to kill Dan's dad.