Bully - Phan - Part 1

Title: Bully
Author: missgeeholly
Genre: general fiction
Rating: 13?
Warnings: Swears, self-harm, mentions of abuse.
Author's Note: This is a long story, links in description.

Great, another day in the hell pit they call a school. I thought as I trudged through the doors, hitching my rucksack ever higher on to my back, praying that they decided to give me a day of rest. I've been bullied by Dan Howell and his pathetic little gang for years. I pretend it doesn't get to me but the harsh truth of it is I've been cutting to get rid of the pain that I have to endure every day. I've been doing it for ages, my legs and hips torn to shreds. That's why I hate P.E. 

I rounded the corner to get to my locker and there they are, waiting for me. Dan's gang consists of:

Him - The Ring Leader (He leads the gang, chooses the victims... usually me)

PJ - The Follower (He just in it so he avoids getting beaten up)

Alex - The Beater (He beats the victims up. And his punches land hard)

Chris - The Teaser (He verbally abuses the victims when Dan can't be bothered)

And these 5 have been making my life a living hell ever since Year 6. It's ridiculous, when you think about it. Why do they choose me? I already get enough at home, but at school as well? I have no where that I feel safe in. I leave the house for days and when I come home it's as if I never left. My family don't care, they never have. I was a drunken mistake and my parents love to remind me of it. Every day.

'Oi, Lester.' I heard Dan yell. Oh god, let the torture start. PJ looked at me, trying to mask his feelings but I always knew he had a soft side, he didn't like this. His eyes showed the tiniest glimmer of guilt every time Dan said my name. 

'OI, Lester, you prick. I'm fucking talking to you.' He squared up to me and I shrank back. I never tried to get away, restrain from it. I just learned to make the pain part of my life, I made room for it. 

'Now what?' I asked a little impatiently. I just wanted to get this over and done with. This agitated Dan, he liked it when his victims fought back. 

'Why aren't you fighting back?' He spat. I sighed, I don't have the time for this.

'Come on, just kick and punch me a couple of times and this will be over with. I need to get to lessons.' I attempted to push past him but he grabbed my arms. 

'You aren't going anywhere just yet.' He gritted his teeth. Oh come on, I told him to beat me up, isn't he going to do it yet?

'Please, let me go.' I looked into his eyes. I never noticed how beautiful they are, chocolatey brown with flecks of green and dark brown. I could see how his eyes changed from harsh and cold to soft, warm, forgiving. This isn't the Dan I'm used to. His grip softened slightly. 

'Go.' He said, dropping his hands to his sides. I looked at him in disbelief. 

'GO. Before I change my mind.' His head fell onto his chest. I ran, not looking back. I heard the whispers from the rest of Dan's gang

I didn't care. He let me go free. That's got to count for something, right? I hurried to my lesson and burst through the door.

'Hello Mr. Lester. Late again I see?' Mrs Haddock looked at me condescendingly over the top of her rectangular glasses. Bitch. 

'Sorry Miss, I got... caught up in the hall.' I replied hesitantly. 

'Well, take your seat. I'll be seeing you at break.' She retorted. My eyes widened. Break detention for coming into the lesson a few minutes late! You've got to be taking the mick.

'But Miss I-' She cut me off.

'FINE! Lunch it is!! Meet he here at 1 o'clock. Don't be late.' She shouted. I turned to see the rest of the class staring at me. I hung my head and dragged my bag to my desk. I pulled my pencil case out and thumped it on the desk. I didn't care if I got an after-schoolie, it would just keep me away from my family for longer. She looked at me warningly and I stared blankly back. The lesson passed at snails pace, something about the spreadsheets. I didn't pay attention, no wonder my grades are slipping. Not that anyone cares. No-one ever does. 

'Philip. PHILIP. MR LESTER ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?' The teacher screamed in my face. 

'Oh just fuck off, would you?' I shouted back. She and the rest of the class looked very taken aback. 

'GET. OUT. NOW.' She seethed, spraying me with spit. 

'Gladly. Anything to get out of this shit.' I chuckled darkly, shoving my stuff back in my bag and stormed out the classroom. I knew I was going to be sent to the head's office sooner or later so I decided to go now. I stumbled through the door and saw Dan sitting in one of the blue chairs. He looked up at me, the hate returned.

'Oh, its' you.' He said, looking back down.

'Who were you expecting?' My top lip curled. He's so fucking full of himself.

'Anyone other than you. No-one likes you, you know that?' He snarled.

'Yeah, I don't blame them. I'm not so fond of myself either.' I replied, honestly. I have a really low self-esteem, I'm not really worth anyone's time. Yet another thing my parents simply love telling me. 

'What's that supposed to mean?' Genuine curiosity in his voice.

'Is it really any of your business?' I looked away.

'Oh my god, just go kill yourself. You'd be doing everyone a favour.' He sighed exasperatedly, trying to find something that would offend me. Nothing would, I'm too cold. 

'Yeah, and me, too.' I looked back at him. He seemed worried. His whole stance changed, he was leaning his chin in his palms, elbows on knees. 

'Why is nothing I say bothering you?!' He asked.

'I've heard it all before. I'm not bothered by it because I know it's true. Ugly, fat, stupid, everyone hates me. Pretty much sums up who I am.' I replied carelessly. It looked like this scared him. He sat back up.

'You're the one that makes me feel this way. You're the one that has lead to my self-esteem issues. It's mainly your fault I'm like this, Daniel.' This hit him hard. The way his eyes changed, tears started forming. I couldn't deal with this any more. I'm leaving. I pick up my bag and run out of school hearing Dan's voice faintly in the background

'Phil, stop!' 

But I don't. I keep running. I keep running till I can't run any more. I slide down a small ally way, hiding from anyone in the street. I slip into the shadows, out of sight. My feet ache, my throat burns and my heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest. I double over, a painful stitch pulsing through my side. My heart freezes when I hear a familiar voice...

'Phil. What the fuck.'